Advice: Distress Department

Dear Distress Department,
I recently lost my best friend of 10 years - not to illness or a terrible accident, but to a schism of the spirit. We were kindred spirits, partners in crime and fellow servants of God. We'd been through good and bad times and come out closer. Then recently, she started to change. Pressure from her family and some tough interpersonal relationships made her withdraw. First from the people who had hurt her. Then from even those of us who had always been there, in love and support. It's as if she wanted nothing to do with her life as she knew it and nothing to do with me. We reached out to her, we prayed for her. Nothing worked.
What can I do to deal with this loss, and how can I look at the situation positively?
Signed,
Missing a Spiritual Sister

Dear Missing,
Detachment can be such a test sometimes. It's hard to give of yourself and get nothing back. But always remember that you have one powerful and unfailing Source of love. Abdul-Baha tells us: "If the friends and relatives are keeping themselves at a distance from thee, be thou not sad, for God is near to thee." It's so easy to lose sight of the fact that when we love people, what we truly love in them is God, and that even if those people come and go, He will always be there-in everyone and everything. So if our relationship with one particular person ends for some reason, even if it's through no fault of our own, we have to be aware that we will always find that love elsewhere as we move through life.
It may hurt to have her gone, but you must always remind yourself that God only does what is best for us-you shared in each other's lives for that period because you He intended you to, for one reason or another. Maybe she needed your to gain something in her life, or maybe she was there to teach you something, and perhaps your time with each other is now up because you've fulfilled your purposes in the friendship. Regardless, you can be sure that you've both grown immeasurably from the relationship.
Your challenge now is to love her from a distance. Continue to think of her and pray for her, and remember your friendship and all that you've learned from it-just think of how this a perfect opportunity for you to become truly "independent of aught else but Thee." And remember to really be there for her if she ever decides to come back to you, for she may need you yet. No doubt your spiritual compass will be of use to her if she stumbles across you on her new path.
It's not easy to detach yourself, but with time and prayer and concerted effort, it will come. You will realize that though your spiritual sister may be physically distant from you, the love of God that shines through each of you and through all of His creation will never be dimmed, and your devotion to Him will sustain you through all separations and hardships. May He keep you strong and happy always.
Signed,
The Fertile Field Distress Department

If you have a question for our Distress Department, please send an email with "Distress Department" in the subject line to youth(at)usbnc.org.

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